I'm going to ask that whoever reads this gets all the way to the bottom before getting angry with me. I'm a pretty neutral person when it comes to hair and whatever you want to do who am I to say otherwise. I will do each section individually and state my experience and opinion.
I will start this with a quote I saw while watching the Steve Harvey show. This woman say you have to love the base you before all of the embellishment. I completely agree with that. "One of my favorite quotes is I'm beautiful in my way because God makes no mistakes." Unknown. If you don't believe in the same God I do then that's fine as well you understand the basics of what I'm saying.
I'm going to start with relaxers because I don't remember much of my hair before that and what I do remember will go in the natural hair section. I got my first relaxer in 1997. I was 12 years old. I was the last of my cousins in that age range to get one (more detail in natural section). I thought my hair was beautiful, it was finally straight and I could wear it down. My hair touched my shoulders and I was so excited. The burning pain was worth it in the end. Over the years I'd spent only God knows how much money to maintain it.
I'd burned my hair and had to get it cut 3 times in the 16 years I had the relaxer. There was heat and color damage, in the end my scalp truly hated me. I itched all of the time, I had horrible dry scalp and no matter what I put on it nothing worked. My scalp was white from all of the flaky dry skin. If I put too much on it the build up was crazy. It didn't end well for me but for a long time it worked great for me and I really did love it. If someone loves getting relaxers then I'm happy for them, it just stopped working for me. I went to stylists and one was able to do something that worked but she was so dang expensive that I said forget it. I cut my hair off for the final time in 2012.
I'm going to natural hair now. When I was a little girl my mom would take down my hair Friday night and wash it every 3 weeks on a Saturday, and every Sunday evening she would braid it for the week. That was my routine until I got old enough to wash my own hair and then I was doing that part up until the summer of 1997. I got picked on a lot by my cousins and people at school and I gave into peer pressure. People said some really mean things to me, I was called a slave, or told to go back and pick cotton, the usual nappy head, and some other things. What's interesting is it was only black people who put me down.
Fast forward to 2013 and I decide I'm done. No more relaxers! My first steps were to stop my scalp from itching and to get it healthy again. I didn't realize that everyone from my cousins to a grandmother and people at school actually peer pressured me into getting a relaxer. I saw the documentary Dark Girls and it was an eye opener. One thing that struck me and I remember is when one of the ladies said, "I had been taught that straight was right." I can't say if that is an accurate quote but that's what I got from it. It made me think what does my natural hair look like? I don't remember it, was it curly? was it wavy? was it nappy? I really didn't remember. I said Ok, I'm going to give this one year and see if I can do it. I started to transition in May 2013 and here I am 3 years later still going. I officially went back to the natural do in Feb 2014.
Its a lot of work and its not at the same time. I think you have to be prepared to do it and not just get mad and cut off all of your hair because that will lead to depression and regret. I say think about it and research about it and make sure its what you want to do. Personally I wish I'd gone back natural years before I actually did.
Now for the weaves. I'm talking braids, twists and sew ins. Anything that is a way of adding hair with out it being a wig. I use to love weaves so much. I wore them all and with no problem. Now I think I might hurt someone if they mention me wearing a weave ever again. I just wore box braids for a month and I felt like I was being driven insane from the itching and dryness. I had a lot of issues. I either don't have a healthy scalp or I'm allergic to the hair. I can't get to my scalp the way I want to and it annoys the heck out of me.
It truly amazes me how women can wear weaves for long periods of time and not miss touching their scalp. I need to run my fingers through my own dang hair. What concerns me about the weaves is hearing women say they aren't beautiful without it. I'm hearing girls (under 18) say they don't love their hair and that they need a weave to be beautiful. I'm not saying weaves are bad, I'm saying love you before AND after the weave.
I don't hate any particular style. There are just styles I personally wont wear. I see women getting put down for stupid things like hair and make up and we should be building each other up and not slapping each other down. As long as you love you at your most basic then it doesn't matter what's on your head
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