Good Hair?

Since I was a young girl I was constantly being told that I have good hair. I've always wondered what that meant. I never understood it. I now can see why my hair was so different than some of my cousins.

Thinking back on my childhood some of my cousins had a bit of a raw deal. Their hair never had a chance. My aunts were beer drinkers and when using that awful medieval torture device (the hot comb) it would burn out their hair. My cousins had burned out hair and burned out scalps and at Easter time any hair that was grown was eventually damaged with the traditional candy curls.

I was having a conversation with 2 of my cousins who complained that their hair never grew. We were talking and they asked what my secret was and when I laid it out for them they didn't believe me. We set up a challenge of where I had full control over their hair for 6 months and they couldn't do anything without talking to me first. I gave them 2 hairstyles to alternate between and told them if it didn't work then I would pay them back for all of the hair products I had them buy.

The first two months had them discouraged. The problem is you just can't reverse damage and I had to make them realize this. We started with a trim, we had to get the dead ends off. When I say dead ends I mean all the damaged hair and there was a lot of it. By the time we got ready to start their hair maybe reached the ears and I boxed up almost all of their hair products. We finished the six months in January and in 6 months their hair had grown a few inches. They could see a difference and they were very excited. They have been keeping up the hair routine but adding a few new styles here and their. I wish they would let me post pictures but they were uncomfortable with it so I didn't push.

There are many myths but black hair does grow. All hair grows it just depends on how you take care of it. Moisture is one of the keys. There are no mysteries and I like to believe that all hair is good hair but its all different. One person may have beautiful wavy locks and another might have another tight set of curls. We have been taught to believe that our hair is nappy and I don't know about you but the people who made me believe my natural hair was wrong have all been black people. Next time I will post about my reasons for getting a relaxer and how I came to the conclusion that returning to natural was best for me.

Hair Challenge Over

Okay. I'm done with the hair challenge. During the process I had mixed feelings. Some days I hated it and some days I loved it. I've come to the conclusion that I will continue with parts of it. I will lay off the shea butter a little bit. While it make my hair shine it also weighs it down and I've notice while I haven't been using it my wash and gos have been more successful. While I was using the shea butter my hair would look like a mess of tangled knots.

I never use coconut oil but I do use coconut milk so this one wasn't too much of a problem for me. I prefer pumpkin seed oil. It was funny how that worked out. So how my oils got mixed up while I was sick so I couldn't smell anything so for almost 2 weeks I was using pumpkin seed oil which I sometimes use for cooking and the results were great. My hair had shine and it feels healthier. I'm just glad I didn't cook with what I thought was the pumpkin seed oil.

I do use the eco styler gel but I don't use it often enough for it to be a problem. If I have something special going on I will attempt to tighten up my edges with a little gel but that's it. I don't use it for my twists or braids. It takes me a good 8 months to go through a container. I try to stay away from gel in general.

As for the castor oil I like the Jamaican black castor oil. I was using it quite a bit but I think I will use it sparingly to see how that goes. The peppermint oil infused in the castor oil does wonder for my scalp. I've been using a peppermint shampoo for a while and that seems to help but lately my scalp has been dryer than usual. I need to find a healthy combination to make sure my scalp gets healthier.

These are just my results and it may be different for someone else. I say give it a try to see. Stay tuned because this is a twofer. I will be posting about proving to some of my cousins that black hair can grow.

The use of heat

 We hear so many things about heat and hair. Don't do this and don't do that. It seems like everything is don't. I've heard only use heat very little or not at all. I've also heard hair burns at 425-450 degrees. I hear the curl pattern will be destroyed if you use heat and so much more. Well I blow dry my hair. There is so much advice out there and it all seems to contradict what another is saying. Do I always blow dry my hair? No.

What are the different types of heat your ask? I only use the flatiron maybe twice a year because I don't want to deal with it. I do stay away from straightening combs though. You couldn't pay me to sit for a straightening comb. I had enough of that as a child. I also don't like the fact that I can't control the temperature of the comb. They also have the electric brush which I have yet to use. One of my cousins have one and she loves it.

Like I said I do blow dry my hair but I don't do it all of the time and again that is just personal preference. I know what my hair can and can't take and that's my point I know what I can do with my hair. When you are just starting over with your natural do its ok to experiment because your hair is short and if its damaged from anything you do it doesn't take much to start over. I started using low heat when I was transitioning on my hair dryer. Since I had two different textures I noticed high heat would break off the relaxed hair. My hair reacts differently now that I'm back to natural. Notice I said back to natural, I didn't go natural because I was born with this type of hair. I went to a relaxed style and now I'm back to natural. You've probably heard me say it and I will probably say it again.

Now I'm not saying go and do whatever and damage your hair but what I am saying is feel free to experiment. Hair grows. I know people say black hair doesn't grow and that's a lie, it does grow. The problem is people don't know how to take care of it but that's my next topic of discussion.

My next posts will focus on me speaking to a group of young ladies convinced that black hair can't grow and how in 6 months I changed their minds. At some point I will talk about hair color. Someone requested that I speak about a particular subject but I need to gather my thoughts on that instead of just rambling.

Hair Challenge

I'm finishing up my 3rd week of the hair challenge and I have to say I have a few mixed reviews to report. My hair does feel lighter and  softer but I'm dealing with dry scalp. Its something I've always had an issue with but it lets me know my scalp isn't get enough moisture.

I've also experienced more shrinkage than usual. My hair when stretched reaches pas my shoulder, I've been wearing 2 strand twists since last friday. I usually get a good 3 days before it looks crazy but this time I was able to get 5 days and then I retwisted them. My twists normally stop at the shoulders but this time it looks like I'm rocking a short bob and my hair is stopping just past my ears.

I do still have some build up but I think its mostly dry flaky skin from my scalp. I realized I need to step of my moisture game if I'm going to continue on with this. I like trying all of these different things but I try to keep using the same products. I don't want 8 different kinds of shampoo and conditioners in my bathroom. I mean really who has that kind of space.

I have noticed that if I don't actively moisturized my hair it looses its shine. I have to pay more attention to my hair than I thought I would. I'm still not sure how I feel about it but I'm going to until the 28th. I want to do the full 30 days to get an honest opinion. I came into this with and open mind and want to finish it with an opinion one way or the other.

My Henna Adventure as well as the Max Hydration Method

I read about Henna treatments in Better Than Good Hair. Its a book by Curly Nikki. I thought it was an interesting read and I wanted to try it so one night when I didn't have to work the next day I did it. It smelled awful. I can't think of anything that has ever smelled so bad in my life.

I followed the instructions to a T. My curl pattern didn't change at all but there was a brown tint to my hair when I was out in the sun.  My hair had a beautiful shine to it and over all my hair felt healthier. In the end it was worth it because it did great things too my hair. I did the henna treatments once a month for about 6 months. I had to stop it because at some point I do want to color my hair and you can't mix hair color and henna. One hair stylist said it looked like the hair was melting from her clients head so be careful with that.

Max Hydration Method.

I had a lot of fun with this although it took a lot of time. I really liked the results and my curls were beautiful. I would definitely do it again if I were able to keep up with it. In order to keep the beautiful curls you have to repeat part of the instructions every 3 days until your hair maintains enough moisture that you can do it every 5 days.

My curls were really crunchy like because of the curling custard I used. Everyone loved the style on me but I just couldn't keep it up. If you are going to color your hair consider waiting until you maintain enough moisture so you aren't rinsing your hair every few days.

The max hydration method took me maybe 24 hours to do every step. Some of the time includes sleeping in conditioner. I wasn't doing my hair every hour of the 24 hours. 

Annoying things people say about natural hair

I know I said I would make my next post about Henna but something recently happened that made me a little angry. This is still a hair post. I know some will say that's no reason to get mad and I wasn't really mad just a little angry. Emotions are a little complicated for me. I range from really damn mad, to pissed off, to angry, to a little angry, then ticked off. So when I say a little angry its not a lot.

These things usually happen when I'm at work. I'm a field technician which means I go around fixing things. The one particular day a guy strikes up a conversation about my hair. He said its very "afro centric" I simply asked, "What do you mean by that?' He said, "How you want to pay homage you your roots. I really respect that." I looked at him confused because I had no idea what he meant. He asked why I was looking so strange and I told him because I was trying to understand his comment. I wanted to know what made him think I'm a natural because of anyone else but me. In the end he looked sheepish and got highly offended. I'm so glad I wasn't interested in him because that would have sucked. 

Another time a family member asked my why would I do something so stupid as to cut all of my hair off and start all over again. I will post a picture of my hair from about 9 years ago. When I cut my hair it was about 4 inches longer than in the picture. Anyways, we discussed it because she really wanted to know. I had to tell her the relaxers were doing horrible things to my scalp. My reaction to heat was a mess. If I got into a hot car or stood in the sun my scalp would get really itchy and felt like it was burning. My hair was beautiful but my scalp was unhealthy. I had to do something about and I did a lot of research. In the end she understood and realized I wasn't just following a trend.

I've had women who are pro relaxer bash me and I don't think that's fair because they don't know me or my situation. As women we should all stand together and not let petty things separate us but that's another topic for a different day. I personally don't like to wear sew ins. I can do them very well but I hate them. I don't go around bashing anyone who wants to wear one. Just because someone doesn't see themselves as natural doesn't mean its not right for another person. If you are trying to decided if you want to go natural then do it for yourself. If you've seen the movie Empire Records everyone knows the 2nd best line in the movie is Damn the man! To me the man is the relaxer or depending on the day humidity but to someone else the man might be natural hair.

Next time you find yourself getting annoyed about the stupid things people say go have a margarita and say damn the man. Smile while you are drinking it because none of the crap they said will have an effect on you. If you don't drink alcohol then have a tea or something. Remember DON'T drink and drive!

This picture is my dad and I when he got deployed about 8 or 9 years ago. In November 2012 I cut my hair off and my hair almost reached my bra strap. I got my last relaxer in April 2013.

Hair challenge week 1

So I've survived a week of the hair challenge and I happy to say that I do have less frizz. My twist outs lasted longer and I'm wearing my hair in plaits this week so I'm excited to see how that goes. My hair also feels less heavy and I don't have as much build up on my scalp. I can understand more when I read the article and it said Shea butter and castor oil is very heavy.

I think my favorite part about this is less frizz. I live in Florida and its humid a lot. When I wear my hair in twists or plaits I usually get 2 good days before frizz starts taking over. Over the weekend I wore my hair in bantu knots which I haven't done since I started transitioning at the end of 2013. What the hell was I thinking? How did I let that simple hair style escape me? I took the knots down today and have braids because I will be going back to work tomorrow.

The lack of build up is making me very happy. Before I could scratch and itch, pull my hand back and oil and stuff would be under my nails. Now if I feel the need to scratch I'm not pulling that back. My hair also has a shine to it. My hair is looking darker than usual and its generally staying moisturized. I've been spraying my conditioner water on it in the morning because the best way to add moisture is water.

So far so good. My next post will be about my experiences with henna last year

Big Chop Feelings

I've recently read a post about the big chop and how this woman felt as if it was the biggest mistake of her life. She said she was all excited about it and when it happened she didn't get that feeling of relief that so many naturals were talking about. 

My own experience was a little different. I started to transition in May 2013 and got my first cut in November 2013. I was excited but also a little disappointed because we couldn't cut more because my hair was so short. I wore that until about February/March 2014 and then I cut the rest myself. I'd asked my roommate who was a hairstylist but she refused saying she didn't want me mad at her if I regretted my decision. After I cut my hair I did actually feel relief, I felt free. Not to long after that it went to what the hell did I do and then back to I'm ok with this. I wore my hair in two strand twists a lot and I still do. At that point my hair maybe touched my ears and the back was just mid way down my neck if that. 

As things kept going on I realized I have two curl patterns, I have tighter curls on the sides and back while I have loose curls on top. I'm guessing this is because at one point I had the sides and back shaved. Anyways my sister didn't have this experience she is a member of the women with shaved heads community. Currently she wants to grow her hair out and we are working on it. 

Everyone has different feelings about this. My cousin went through a medical nightmare where they shaved her locs. Her hair had been growing for years and reached past her shoulders when this happened. After she recovered from this nightmare half of her head was shaved and she made the decision to start over. She was given a new chance at life and she said cutting her hair felt liberating but she was a little upset at starting over again. 

I'm saying all of this to say if you want to transition for 2 years then do it, there's nothing wrong with that. If you want to big chop then do that too but what I don't want you to do is jump on the band wagon. Have you ever been told if everyone else jumps off a bridge will you too? The same can be said with your hair. It may sound superficial but your feelings can be tied to your hair. If you are unhappy with your hair you can be unhappy in general.

I'm going to leave you with this thought. How do you feel on bad hair days?