Natural hair vs Relaxers vs Weaves

I'm going to ask that whoever reads this gets all the way to the bottom before getting angry with me. I'm a pretty neutral person when it comes to hair and whatever you want to do who am I to say otherwise. I will do each section individually and state my experience and opinion.

I will start this with a quote I saw while watching the Steve Harvey show. This woman say you have to love the base you before all of the embellishment. I completely agree with that. "One of my favorite quotes is I'm beautiful in my way because God makes no mistakes."  Unknown. If you don't believe in the same God I do then that's fine as well you understand the basics of what I'm saying.

I'm going to start with relaxers because I don't remember much of my hair before that and what I do remember will go in the natural hair section. I got my first relaxer in 1997. I was 12 years old. I was the last of my cousins in that age range to get one (more detail in natural section). I thought my hair was beautiful, it  was finally straight and I could wear it down. My hair touched my shoulders and I was so excited. The burning pain was worth it in the end. Over the years I'd spent only God knows how much money to maintain it.

I'd burned my hair and had to get it cut 3 times in the 16 years I had the relaxer.  There was heat and color damage, in the end my scalp truly hated me. I itched all of the time, I had horrible dry scalp and no matter what I put on it nothing worked. My scalp was white from all of the flaky dry skin. If I put too much on it the build up was crazy. It didn't end well for me but for a long time it worked great for me and I really did love it. If someone loves getting relaxers then I'm happy for them, it just stopped working for me. I went to stylists and one was able to do something that worked but she was so dang expensive that I said forget it. I cut my hair off for the final time in 2012.

I'm going to natural hair now. When I was a little girl my mom would take down my hair Friday night and wash it every 3 weeks on a Saturday, and every Sunday evening she would braid it for the week. That was my routine until I got old enough to wash my own hair and then I was doing that part up until the summer of 1997. I got picked on a lot by my cousins and people at school and I gave into peer pressure. People said some really mean things to me, I was called a slave, or told to go back and pick cotton, the usual nappy head, and some other things. What's interesting is it was only black people who put me down.

Fast forward to 2013 and I decide I'm done. No more relaxers! My first steps were to stop my scalp from itching and to get it healthy again. I didn't realize that everyone from my cousins to a grandmother and people at school actually peer pressured me into getting a relaxer. I saw the documentary Dark Girls and it was an eye opener. One thing that struck me and I remember is when one of the ladies said, "I had been taught that straight was right." I can't say if that is an accurate quote but that's what I got from it. It made me think what does my natural hair look like? I don't remember it, was it curly? was it wavy? was it nappy? I really didn't remember. I said Ok, I'm going to give this one year and see if I can do it. I started to transition in May 2013 and here I am 3 years later still going. I officially went back to the natural do in Feb 2014.

Its a lot of work and its not at the same time. I think you have to be prepared to do it and not just get mad and cut off all of your hair because that will lead to depression and regret. I say think about it and research about it and make sure its what you want to do. Personally I wish I'd gone back natural years before I actually did.

Now for the weaves. I'm talking braids, twists and sew ins. Anything that is a way of adding hair with out it being a wig. I use to love weaves so much. I wore them all and with no problem. Now I think I might hurt someone if they mention me wearing a weave ever again. I just wore box braids for a month and I felt like I was being driven insane from the itching and dryness. I had a lot of issues. I either don't have a healthy scalp or I'm allergic to the hair. I can't get to my scalp the way I want to and it annoys the heck out of me.

It truly amazes me how women can wear weaves for long periods of time and not miss touching their scalp. I need to run my fingers through my own dang hair. What concerns me about the weaves is hearing women say they aren't beautiful without it. I'm hearing girls (under 18) say they don't love their hair and that they need a weave to be beautiful. I'm not saying weaves are bad, I'm saying love you before AND after the weave.

I don't hate any particular style. There are just styles I personally wont wear. I see women getting put down for stupid things like hair and make up and we should be building each other up and not slapping each other down. As long as you love you at your most basic then it doesn't matter what's on your head

Hair Growth

I've been reading a lot of articles about stimulating hair growth and I've read a lot of different things. This post is going to explain the things I've read and what I'm actually going to try and for how long.

The thing I hear about the most is taking pills. The hairfinity or the biotin pills. Less just face it hairfinity is just more expensive biotin and other vitamins put together. I personally don't like biotin. I looked like I was just reaching puberty with the amount of acne I got. I was told to increase my water intake and I did and nothing changed. I didn't really notice a difference in my hair but my skin was not happy. If this works for you then keep it up but it didn't work for me.

The next thing would be drinking more water. This one is hard for me because I do a lot of driving. I'm a field service tech so I'm driving from place to place and you don't want to use just any bathroom. I did need to increase my water intake because I started working out again. If you are driving a lot like I do (500+ miles a week) then you need to find dedicated restrooms that you know will be clean because you will be peeing A LOT. I try to at minimum get the recommended 8 cups a day. I don't always do it and I don't expect everyone to be able to do it either but I say give it shot. I will.

To piggy back off what I just said about the water I'm increasing my exercise. I'm 5 ft 4 inches and I weigh 172 pounds.  I'm considered overweight border line obese. I read an article that said increasing exercise will increase blood flow which includes to the scalp which stimulates hair growth. I'm not trying to get back to 120 pounds, I think I want to cap it around 150 which means I have 22 pounds to go. I'm going to start off slow because I have a foot thing and blah blah blah.

There's always the usual stuff like less manipulation, trimming the ends, and working in sections. I already do those things and will continue to do them. I only get the ends trimmed once a year. I feel that's all I really need. My cousin goes every 6 months. These are just suggestions because you know your hair better than anyone. If you don't know your hair then check with a stylist you trust. You can't just go to anyone. I've spoke to stylists who are afraid of natural hair so remember to ask questions.

The last thing I got for you is using oils for your hair. All of my friends know that I'm crazy about using pumpkin seed oil. Its my go to oil. It works best for me. I read where women say they do scalp massages with warm coconut oil once a week about 45 mins before a wash. I find that interesting because I just did the hair detox from shea butter and such. I was never a coconut oil user so I'm not really sure if it works. I think I'm going to give this one a shot for 3 months and see if there is a difference.

I'm going to do this starting June 4th to Sept 3rd. On that day I will post before and after photos. I'm going to do full body shots to give myself more motivation to actually work out because I'm lazy. The next topic will be on a debate I saw on tv regarding natural hair vs relaxers vs weaves. I'm going to express my opinion openly and if anyone feels any different let me know.

Braids and other weaves

For the past month I have been wearing braids. I've learned one very important thing my scalp hates me when I wear any extra hair. For a long time I had no issues but now my scalp itches like crazy. No one could say that I didn't moisturize my hair because I did and often but my scalp was inflamed and unhappy. 

You name it I used it. I did manage to get a half inch of new growth out of the deal but still the trauma my scalp went through was nuts. I know trauma is a very dramatic word but almost every day was torture. My scalp was constantly itching and red and nothing made it better with the exception of just regular water. I even washed the hair before use and it didn't help at all. My hair is getting longer so I guess I can do without the extra hair anyways. 

The other thing I can't deal with anymore is sew ins. I learned how to do them myself about 5 years ago with a lot of practice and now I do them for my mom every now and again. I can't deal with it, I need access to my scalp. When my hair is done in these protective styles with additional hair its just painful. I've officially decided to give up on it. I'm thinking I might be allergic to the hair. I've tried human hair and synthetic hair and its all a pain in the ass. 

I'm not saying this to discourage anyone I'm just sharing my experience. I'm all for protective styling but there's a limit for me. I wish anyone the best of luck

Coloring with natural ingredients

Ok so many of you will probably laugh at this but I attempted to lighten my hair with ingredients in the kitchen. I have to say that some of the spots were lightened but I think I need to use  more of the mixture.

The ingredients are cinnamon, honey, olive oil, conditioner, and water. Cinnamon is so hard to wash out that's why they said to add a little conditioner. I had to put the shampoo in my hair and rub back and forth almost scrubbing my hair. It was crazy, I had cinnamon everywhere. I smelled liked a cinnamon graham cracker, it was so funny.

I wish I could share some pictures but the camera isn't catching the difference in color. I made a mistake in the before and after photos by not using the same lighting.  I think I will give this another shot but this time I will use more of it and focus it one section of hair to see if there is a difference.

I did this because if I can lighten my hair without bleach then I can get color to take. My main goal is to not bleach. I did it once and my hair broke horribly. Not matter what I did to it I couldn't stop the breakage. Some people bleach and have no issues and the rest of us aren't so lucky. If you know your hair can take the bleach then I say go for it but I'm just looking for alternatives. 

Good Hair?

Since I was a young girl I was constantly being told that I have good hair. I've always wondered what that meant. I never understood it. I now can see why my hair was so different than some of my cousins.

Thinking back on my childhood some of my cousins had a bit of a raw deal. Their hair never had a chance. My aunts were beer drinkers and when using that awful medieval torture device (the hot comb) it would burn out their hair. My cousins had burned out hair and burned out scalps and at Easter time any hair that was grown was eventually damaged with the traditional candy curls.

I was having a conversation with 2 of my cousins who complained that their hair never grew. We were talking and they asked what my secret was and when I laid it out for them they didn't believe me. We set up a challenge of where I had full control over their hair for 6 months and they couldn't do anything without talking to me first. I gave them 2 hairstyles to alternate between and told them if it didn't work then I would pay them back for all of the hair products I had them buy.

The first two months had them discouraged. The problem is you just can't reverse damage and I had to make them realize this. We started with a trim, we had to get the dead ends off. When I say dead ends I mean all the damaged hair and there was a lot of it. By the time we got ready to start their hair maybe reached the ears and I boxed up almost all of their hair products. We finished the six months in January and in 6 months their hair had grown a few inches. They could see a difference and they were very excited. They have been keeping up the hair routine but adding a few new styles here and their. I wish they would let me post pictures but they were uncomfortable with it so I didn't push.

There are many myths but black hair does grow. All hair grows it just depends on how you take care of it. Moisture is one of the keys. There are no mysteries and I like to believe that all hair is good hair but its all different. One person may have beautiful wavy locks and another might have another tight set of curls. We have been taught to believe that our hair is nappy and I don't know about you but the people who made me believe my natural hair was wrong have all been black people. Next time I will post about my reasons for getting a relaxer and how I came to the conclusion that returning to natural was best for me.

Hair Challenge Over

Okay. I'm done with the hair challenge. During the process I had mixed feelings. Some days I hated it and some days I loved it. I've come to the conclusion that I will continue with parts of it. I will lay off the shea butter a little bit. While it make my hair shine it also weighs it down and I've notice while I haven't been using it my wash and gos have been more successful. While I was using the shea butter my hair would look like a mess of tangled knots.

I never use coconut oil but I do use coconut milk so this one wasn't too much of a problem for me. I prefer pumpkin seed oil. It was funny how that worked out. So how my oils got mixed up while I was sick so I couldn't smell anything so for almost 2 weeks I was using pumpkin seed oil which I sometimes use for cooking and the results were great. My hair had shine and it feels healthier. I'm just glad I didn't cook with what I thought was the pumpkin seed oil.

I do use the eco styler gel but I don't use it often enough for it to be a problem. If I have something special going on I will attempt to tighten up my edges with a little gel but that's it. I don't use it for my twists or braids. It takes me a good 8 months to go through a container. I try to stay away from gel in general.

As for the castor oil I like the Jamaican black castor oil. I was using it quite a bit but I think I will use it sparingly to see how that goes. The peppermint oil infused in the castor oil does wonder for my scalp. I've been using a peppermint shampoo for a while and that seems to help but lately my scalp has been dryer than usual. I need to find a healthy combination to make sure my scalp gets healthier.

These are just my results and it may be different for someone else. I say give it a try to see. Stay tuned because this is a twofer. I will be posting about proving to some of my cousins that black hair can grow.

The use of heat

 We hear so many things about heat and hair. Don't do this and don't do that. It seems like everything is don't. I've heard only use heat very little or not at all. I've also heard hair burns at 425-450 degrees. I hear the curl pattern will be destroyed if you use heat and so much more. Well I blow dry my hair. There is so much advice out there and it all seems to contradict what another is saying. Do I always blow dry my hair? No.

What are the different types of heat your ask? I only use the flatiron maybe twice a year because I don't want to deal with it. I do stay away from straightening combs though. You couldn't pay me to sit for a straightening comb. I had enough of that as a child. I also don't like the fact that I can't control the temperature of the comb. They also have the electric brush which I have yet to use. One of my cousins have one and she loves it.

Like I said I do blow dry my hair but I don't do it all of the time and again that is just personal preference. I know what my hair can and can't take and that's my point I know what I can do with my hair. When you are just starting over with your natural do its ok to experiment because your hair is short and if its damaged from anything you do it doesn't take much to start over. I started using low heat when I was transitioning on my hair dryer. Since I had two different textures I noticed high heat would break off the relaxed hair. My hair reacts differently now that I'm back to natural. Notice I said back to natural, I didn't go natural because I was born with this type of hair. I went to a relaxed style and now I'm back to natural. You've probably heard me say it and I will probably say it again.

Now I'm not saying go and do whatever and damage your hair but what I am saying is feel free to experiment. Hair grows. I know people say black hair doesn't grow and that's a lie, it does grow. The problem is people don't know how to take care of it but that's my next topic of discussion.

My next posts will focus on me speaking to a group of young ladies convinced that black hair can't grow and how in 6 months I changed their minds. At some point I will talk about hair color. Someone requested that I speak about a particular subject but I need to gather my thoughts on that instead of just rambling.